Well...

there's not much to say right now. We've been adjusting to a new routine and it's been difficult both mentally and financially. I started back at work on Friday night and Alex started daycare on Monday morning. I've cried myself to sleep two mornings in a row about it. I guess my sensitivity to the situation stems a lot from the situation to the boys...whenever any of the kids are gone for extended periods of time, and Nicky and Martin inevitably...the word "abandon" comes to mind, and it gives me such grief.

With the cost of daycare, going back to work I am actually going to have less than I did on maternity leave...how that happens, you tell me. It will be 4 weeks before I have a full cheque because I started back on a payday. They do the 1 week behind pay thing....so my first cheque in 2 weeks will only be for 1 week.

Stress...? Yeh there is TONS of it around here.

Oh, and if I'm being honest here... I need to get this off my chest. My parents (who I'm estranged from) just did something plainly clear that tells me I don't matter to them. On one hand it's so tragically sad, and I'm sorry for the girl I had wanted to be and could have been and on the other hand it just doesn't matter...it's a confirmation of what I've always known.

I hate to be a victim of my past, and I generally never ever let that on, but I would like to be vulnerable for just a moment... I like to keep things to myself...I try to carry the burden of my pain, because it's mine. It's been an uphill struggle but through it all I've tried hard to maintain my integrity and my ethics...so sometimes it may appear I am being difficult, but it's rightfully so... I have nothing in my life if I don't have that respect for myself, even when I feel that I have no place and feel no self worth...I've never compromised my belief in being the honest person I have become. Don't mistake that for naivety. I'm far from that.

Are You Divalicious?

We are having a week long crop at Savvy N' Sassy!!!!!!!!! Join us from September 26 - October 5 for awesome challenges, make and takes, classes and games! There is TONS of challenges 20 or more! Each challenge, make and take, class and game has a RAK to be won! We have generous sponsors, which include SavvyNSassy, Making Memories, Gelatins, Upsy Daisy, Elles Studio JUST to name a few!!!!!!!

At the end of it all..there is a GRAND PRIZE!!!! You get your name into the draw for EVERY challenge you participate in! If you remember, I have previously won...and I'm not lying when you will die when you see the awesome grand prize! This is what I had won at a previous crop:



Come and join us for the fun! You won't be disappointed! :D

oh hai!

Not much to say here, just wanted to add a few of the layouts that I have finished using the September - A Dino Under the Bed kit at Savvy N' Sassy.



I was worried, working with a ribbon kit that consisted of two colours would be a difficult challenge...but in the end I created some of my favourite layouts to add to my albums! :)

Do you know..

how hard it is to get showered and dressed to go to an interview with an almost 10 month old running around that crawls, and climbs and walks and opens everything! ARRGH! To top it off, I need to take him across town, only to come back for an interview by my house, and drive across town again! The only plus is I'm meeting a friend for coffee on that end of town...so I will have Jamie come and pick up Alex from my grandma, we're having supper made by her at my parents house anyways..where Alex is going. To make matters worse, I don't even really want to leave him with my 70 year old grandmother! She'll be fine, I'm sure...but I know her health is deteriorating, and this boy is FAST!

*sigh* I really wish I had more help! Family, someone. (I'm estranged from my parents if you weren't aware...)

K, well..off I go to try and blowdry my hair. *eyeroll*

And yet another...

card using a 2S4Y sketch. I did this one for the Caardvarks challenge. It's been a quiet afternoon around here while the boy naps! :D

Another sketch means..

another card...
I'm not even going to complain about cardmaking anymore..I'm just going to do it! ;) Check out 2S4Y for this weeks sketch this card is based off, and many more! :D

Winner!

Jacqueline congratulations!!! You have won a ribbon kit and chipboard! :D Email me aleks-81 @ hotmail . com, and I will send it out to you right away! Oh, and ((((hugs)))) to you...hoping all the best!

Thank you everyone for sharing your difficult stories for me, big and small...my heart goes out to all of you! xoxo

In other news, I made brownies today...my first time ever. They were actually saucepan brownies... I had only maybe 1/2 a cup of cocoa left and most brownie recipes are calling for 3/4 cups. I guess if I didn't bake so much, I would still have cocoa! HA! ;) Anyways, I found a recipe in my Hershey's book...(yes, it's all ChoCOLatE!) that didn't need cocoa. It was quick, it was easy....and it was FUDGY!!! mmmm. Just what I needed right now....



LOL ;)

Finally, here is a layout I finished tonight with my new ribbon kit for my Savvy N' Sassy Design Team:



All new goodies here...this CBX paper was just tooo delicious to resist! I've got paper out the ying yang now..my stash is replenished, and I should be sent to my room without supper! For months! ;)

This is the yummy kit I am working with:



It's called A Dino Under the Bed, and it's fun and boyish and blue and brown and that's good!

Finally (another finally), I applied for a well paying night job. I am hoping to get a phone call for an interview there, so cross your fingers for me. It's not in my field of work, it's telephone work and it's a full time night position...and I might be crazy to admit this, but I really, really enjoy being a shifty! *blush* OH! They also give you a free gym membership to the YMCA! :D

I also have a possible interview at the Acura dealership..but it's gotta pay better! Cause that gym membership is a pretty sweet deal!

Please, keep me in your thoughts that I find a full time job quickly, Alexander is going to daycare on September 22 and we need the money coming in to pay for it! My part time job will pay for it...but not too much else!

More card practice...

I don't love this card, I actually like the one I made for the last challenge better..but maybe I overthunk it?! Is thunk a word... or just a sound? ha! Here is the card I made for 2 Sketches 4 You challenge this week:

(click to enlarge)
You cardmaking ladies, I take my hat off to you...well, I don't wear a hat, but if I did I would... this is serious business!! I will take any and all kinds of (gentle) constructive criticism!

Have a lovely Sunday.

Swamped

First of all, to everyone who comes by my blog and reads and/or posts comments, it's truly appreciated! I wish I had more time in a day to leave comments and I try to get to your blogs when I can! Going back to work is soon upon me. I am looking for a second job, as my .4 nights will not be enough if Alex is to be in daycare. I could take a full time day job...but I really would like to keep my job at the nursing home. I am holding out for a full time position to open up there. That's why I can't leave, and that's why I shall torture myself. So, I've been looking for jobs...the ones that are calling me back are some on the bottom of the list for various reasons. I hate being underpaid for what I do...like at the nursing home I work at LOL. But, I love that place!

I'm finding it harder and harder to scrapbook and create because of various many stresses in my life... and at times I feel like quitting. But, how do you quit scrapbooking? I would feel guilty if I didn't do it. I do go back and look at my albums, so does Kara, and the boys when they are here. So, that makes it worthwhile right?

The interesting thing about my boys, is that Nicholas (9) loves to scrapbook, and I think he is quite good at it. :) My son Martin (8), he *loves* to look at the layouts! I enjoy when he grabs his sister and says, "Let's look at the scrapbooks." :) Enought to melt my heart to a pile of goo! ;)

Here is a layout, that his been literally sitting on my desk since before they even left back to Toronto almost 3 weeks ago...so it's probably been on my desk for a little over 3 weeks. I just LOVE this picture of Martin, and when I had it printed, I gasped a little...because as much as he is changing and growing, I see SO much of myself in him.

I used a sketch found on Sketch This I believe, and this beautiful Tinkering Ink paper. I'm not even a fan of them, but this paper pad is GORGEOUS! The buttons, well they were all supposed to be round, until I couldn't find any that matched...so these - they actually match better in person - little clusters were born, because I did have teal minis!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and that your back to school routines are sorting themselves out!

*I haven't received my order yet, so probably Monday...that will be the last day to enter the draw for the ribbon HERE. Unless, by the off chance it comes in tomorrow...and I hope it doesn't because, well because I have a lot of preordered stuff in that DH doesn't need to see!! LOL ;)

In the beginning...

I scrapped 12x12. I think there are about a dozen or so pages really. Boo posted a challenge to post some of your earlier layout and then one now. Well, I found 3 that I already had on my computer, none of these are my first...but all under 12th ever created! lol

I originally switched for easier scanning! lol Then I became hooked on 8 1/2 x 11 and I've never gone back. I am not even tempted to do 12x12, because I don't want to mess up my order now! ;)

Well here are 3 older layouts...about 2003 when I started after THINKING and collecting supplies for 2 years! It took me 2 full weeks to complete ONE simple layout!! LOL

The last pic is a current layout.